Cutortpog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, strong crab.

Cutortpog created the world five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cutortpog, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cutortpog, he will destroy your home solar system.

Cutortpog's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Cutortpog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill pigs.

2. Always treat shrews with great respect.

3. Never talk about dark energy near mites while wearing cyan shoes and balancing eight lead spheres on your feet.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.