Bestfungab Catmipvid is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humorless monkey.

Bestfungab Catmipvid created snails six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestfungab Catmipvid, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bestfungab Catmipvid, it will send minions to preach to you.

Bestfungab Catmipvid's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Bestfungab Catmipvid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help rats.

2. Run away if seven dogs approach from the west.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Erect a giant green sculpture of Bestfungab Catmipvid in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.