Batquamvil is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, able jellyfish.

Batquamvil created water three billion years ago.

If you believe in Batquamvil, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Batquamvil, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Batquamvil's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Batquamvil's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Batquamvil loves cats, so they must be respected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Put Batquamvil first in all things.