Bagtonmad is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, caring finch.

Bagtonmad created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagtonmad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bagtonmad, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bagtonmad's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Bagtonmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

4. Retreat if six turtles approach from the north.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.