Tabwapfon is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, vain turtle.

Tabwapfon created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabwapfon, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tabwapfon, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tabwapfon's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tabwapfon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Tabwapfon in the centre of the settlement.

2. Run away from violet great tits, for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about gravity near manatees while wearing blue stockings and balancing nine silver spheres on your chest.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.