Jarnjantam is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, boastful turtle.

Jarnjantam created snails four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnjantam, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jarnjantam, she will turn you into a sheep.

Jarnjantam's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Jarnjantam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think ill of sick otters.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.