Cemsugvenzen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, moody spider.

Cemsugvenzen created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Cemsugvenzen, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cemsugvenzen, it will turn you into a snail.

Cemsugvenzen's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Cemsugvenzen's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Cemsugvenzen's priests.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Cemsugvenzen on top of all buildings.

3. Cemsugvenzen loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not cook food in pots.