Pakwabjam Monhunkop Vingen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, overgenerous grasshopper.

Pakwabjam Monhunkop Vingen created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakwabjam Monhunkop Vingen, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pakwabjam Monhunkop Vingen, he will turn you into a snail.

Pakwabjam Monhunkop Vingen's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Pakwabjam Monhunkop Vingen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Do not hurt squirrels.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.