Riptipstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, intelligent penguin.

Riptipstaf created the planet Saturn three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Riptipstaf, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Riptipstaf, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Riptipstaf's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Riptipstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never think about eukaryotes.

3. Never jump near porpoises.

4. You must never eat rice.

5. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Riptipstaf in the centre of the settlement.