Dagkarbad is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unfair turtle.

Dagkarbad created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dagkarbad, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dagkarbad, he will ignore you.

Dagkarbad's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Dagkarbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Never think about optics.

3. Do not speak about limes.

4. You must never eat cucumbers.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.