Bissyamhim is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, loving cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bissyamhim created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissyamhim, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bissyamhim, she will not care.

Bissyamhim's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Bissyamhim's Holy Commandments

1. Bissyamhim loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Bissyamhim in the centre of the settlement.

4. Put Bissyamhim first in all things.

5. You must never eat gooseberries.