Bagquamruttjattigtaghascam is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awesome pigeon.

Bagquamruttjattigtaghascam created an atom eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagquamruttjattigtaghascam, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bagquamruttjattigtaghascam, he will turn you into a mole.

Bagquamruttjattigtaghascam's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Bagquamruttjattigtaghascam's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four pigs approach from the south.

2. Never feed lots of pineapples to ants while wearing green skirts.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. Run away if six turtles approach from the west.