Fetrancad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, generous pig.

Fetrancad created the Andromeda Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetrancad, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fetrancad, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fetrancad's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Fetrancad's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not take Fetrancad's name in vain.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.