Jarntaghot is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, loving giraffe.

Jarntaghot created matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarntaghot, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jarntaghot, she will be mildly annoyed.

Jarntaghot's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Jarntaghot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never go into mauve rooms.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Jarntaghot on top of all buildings.

5. Always treat porpoises with great respect.