Kampakjonvog is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, passionate raccoon.

Kampakjonvog created the Milkyway five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kampakjonvog, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kampakjonvog, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Kampakjonvog's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Kampakjonvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Erect five copper sculptures of Kampakjonvog on top of important buildings.

5. Always treat birds with great respect.