Nillcuncum is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, moody turtle.

Nillcuncum created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillcuncum, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nillcuncum, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Nillcuncum's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Nillcuncum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant white sculpture of Nillcuncum in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Nillcuncum loves gulls, so they must be honoured.