Yattsatster is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, effective squirrel.

Yattsatster created the planet Jupiter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattsatster, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yattsatster, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yattsatster's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yattsatster's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always look after injured seals.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

4. Never talk about ducks.

5. Never feed lots of peas to great tits while wearing red kilts.