Hugtomwee is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ruthless parrot.

Hugtomwee created the planet Mars six million years ago.

If you believe in Hugtomwee, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hugtomwee, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Hugtomwee's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Hugtomwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.