Zaksatvog Mutxemgepdim is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, self-confident snake.

Zaksatvog Mutxemgepdim created matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zaksatvog Mutxemgepdim, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zaksatvog Mutxemgepdim, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Zaksatvog Mutxemgepdim's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Zaksatvog Mutxemgepdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to ants while wearing hats.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Never think ill of sick badgers.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Zaksatvog Mutxemgepdim in the centre of the settlement.