Hanwotcum is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, astonishing owl.

Hanwotcum created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hanwotcum, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hanwotcum, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hanwotcum's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Hanwotcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. Retreat if seven moths approach from the south.

4. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

5. You must love Hanwotcum.