Flag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, staggering elephant.

Flag created vertebrates nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flag, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flag, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Flag's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Flag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never feed lemons to tapirs while wearing shirts.

4. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Run away if nine foxes approach from the east.