Midsatwod is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, boastful yak.

Midsatwod created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Midsatwod, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Midsatwod, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Midsatwod's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Midsatwod's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Worship no other gods but Midsatwod.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.