Matbedtaf is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, competent squid.

Matbedtaf created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matbedtaf, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Matbedtaf, she will turn you into a tree.

Matbedtaf's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Matbedtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Always help squirrels.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

4. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never write about ultrasonics.