Bemmilstraglist is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omnipotent mouse.

Bemmilstraglist created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemmilstraglist, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bemmilstraglist, he will turn you into a duck.

Bemmilstraglist's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Bemmilstraglist's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to otters while wearing turquoise tights.

2. Never talk about spacetime near cats while wearing green skirts.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Never mention squirrels.