Jinvonkyarlbaptabrullbaftig is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, calm wyrm.

Jinvonkyarlbaptabrullbaftig created a charm quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinvonkyarlbaptabrullbaftig, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jinvonkyarlbaptabrullbaftig, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Jinvonkyarlbaptabrullbaftig's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Jinvonkyarlbaptabrullbaftig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Run away from cyan voles, for they are unholy.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not commit murder.