Bonkontdan is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, prudent mongoose.

Bonkontdan created the Black Eye Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkontdan, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bonkontdan, it will laugh at you.

Bonkontdan's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bonkontdan's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bonkontdan.

2. Never sprint in holy places.

3. Bonkontdan loves ducks, so they must be respected.

4. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

5. Never feed lots of bananas to bats while wearing blue dresses.