Gov Flagpitgil is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, quiet penguin.

Gov Flagpitgil created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gov Flagpitgil, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gov Flagpitgil, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gov Flagpitgil's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gov Flagpitgil's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat geese with great respect.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not hop in public.