Orttambidlagrilren is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, wise warg.

Orttambidlagrilren created a bottom quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Orttambidlagrilren, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Orttambidlagrilren, she will jump up and down on your head.

Orttambidlagrilren's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Orttambidlagrilren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Run away from red mice, for they are unholy.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Worship no other gods but Orttambidlagrilren.