Vigyarlmad is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unfair jaguar.

Vigyarlmad created Asia five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigyarlmad, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vigyarlmad, she will be very unhappy.

Vigyarlmad's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Vigyarlmad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six tapirs approach from the north.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Never eat bananas.

4. Do not kill ants.

5. Do not shave your face.