Kinmisfet is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, almighty raven.

Kinmisfet created the solar system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinmisfet, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kinmisfet, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Kinmisfet's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Kinmisfet's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three foxes approach from the south.

2. Kinmisfet loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not covet oxen.