Hotnegomtbig is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, boastful hippopotamus.

Hotnegomtbig created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Hotnegomtbig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hotnegomtbig, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Hotnegomtbig's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Hotnegomtbig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks in need.

2. Worship no other gods but Hotnegomtbig.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about bacteria.