Somfubkar is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, happy swan.

Somfubkar created parasitic wasps seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Somfubkar, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Somfubkar, he will jump up and down on your head.

Somfubkar's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Somfubkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never hurt manatees.