Rulganfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, cheerful narwhal.

Rulganfarn created the Whirlpool Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulganfarn, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Rulganfarn, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Rulganfarn's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Rulganfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Never think about dark matter near dolphins while wearing brown hats and balancing five copper spheres on your legs.

4. You must pray to Rulganfarn nine times a day.

5. Respect your elders.