Quartbadsandtikhonsternan Yogbuncad is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, egotistical armadillo.

Quartbadsandtikhonsternan Yogbuncad created a charm quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quartbadsandtikhonsternan Yogbuncad, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quartbadsandtikhonsternan Yogbuncad, it will turn you into a duck.

Quartbadsandtikhonsternan Yogbuncad's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Quartbadsandtikhonsternan Yogbuncad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to shrews while wearing hats.

2. You must love Quartbadsandtikhonsternan Yogbuncad.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Quartbadsandtikhonsternan Yogbuncad loves snails, so they must be honoured.

5. Hide from yellow dogs for they are unholy.