Vonfonfum Flissandfut is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, blissful donkey.

Vonfonfum Flissandfut created the Black Eye Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonfonfum Flissandfut, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vonfonfum Flissandfut, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Vonfonfum Flissandfut's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Vonfonfum Flissandfut's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Vonfonfum Flissandfut on top of all buildings.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.