Jipzaklag is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthinking shrew.

Jipzaklag created Africa two years ago.

If you believe in Jipzaklag, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jipzaklag, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jipzaklag's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Jipzaklag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never write about spacetime.

4. Never eat wheat.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.