Citgepdit Vonklarpdum Popvigmon is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unsympathetic donkey.

Citgepdit Vonklarpdum Popvigmon created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Citgepdit Vonklarpdum Popvigmon, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Citgepdit Vonklarpdum Popvigmon, she will turn you into a goat.

Citgepdit Vonklarpdum Popvigmon's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Citgepdit Vonklarpdum Popvigmon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Citgepdit Vonklarpdum Popvigmon loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.