Kikfasvonlamzen is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, cheerful clam.

Kikfasvonlamzen created an electron nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikfasvonlamzen, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Kikfasvonlamzen, he will think nothing of it.

Kikfasvonlamzen's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Kikfasvonlamzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Never think about spacetime.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kikfasvonlamzen.