Dambastnak is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, benevolent sheep.

Dambastnak created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dambastnak, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dambastnak, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Dambastnak's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Dambastnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to manatees while wearing trousers.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Never feed lots of garlic to seals while wearing purple kilts.

4. Always look after injured grasshopers.

5. Always obey Dambastnak's priests.