Tailwitarncuss is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, thoughtless beaver.

Tailwitarncuss created an atom six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailwitarncuss, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tailwitarncuss, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Tailwitarncuss' most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Tailwitarncuss' Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Tailwitarncuss in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never paint your back turquoise.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tailwitarncuss.