Bogwottab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, vain narwhal.

Bogwottab created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogwottab, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bogwottab, it will not invite you to parties.

Bogwottab's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Bogwottab's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never paint your face magenta.

5. Always pray immersed in water.