Metbumnurl is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, boastful spider.

Metbumnurl created a charm quark four years ago.

If you believe in Metbumnurl, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Metbumnurl, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Metbumnurl's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Metbumnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snails.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near great tits while wearing purple dresses and balancing seven nickel spheres on your hands.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always treat goats with great respect.

5. Do not eat peanuts.