Begpanglim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, wise swallow.

Begpanglim created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Begpanglim, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Begpanglim, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Begpanglim's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Begpanglim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never think about thermodynamics.

5. Never bounce near cats.