Quafyatfem is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, slow bear.

Quafyatfem created a strange quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Quafyatfem, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quafyatfem, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Quafyatfem's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Quafyatfem's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Quafyatfem in the centre of the settlement.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Put Quafyatfem first in all things.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never wear brown rings.