Ortfossbap is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, duplicitous dingo.

Ortfossbap created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortfossbap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ortfossbap, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Ortfossbap's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Ortfossbap's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six grasshopers approach from the east.

2. Do not take Ortfossbap's name in vain.

3. Never talk about spacetime.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Do not cook food in pots.