Taphun is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, omnipotent grasshopper.

Taphun created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Taphun, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Taphun, she will send you a sign.

Taphun's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Taphun's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four tapirs approach from the west.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Taphun on top of all buildings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity.

5. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.