Nabbesstancepjin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, bad-tempered bear.

Nabbesstancepjin created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Nabbesstancepjin, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nabbesstancepjin, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nabbesstancepjin's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Nabbesstancepjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never go into brown rooms.