Pigvonkhak is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, awesome beaver.

Pigvonkhak created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigvonkhak, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pigvonkhak, she will throw large rocks at you.

Pigvonkhak's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Pigvonkhak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Pigvonkhak on top of all buildings.

2. Always obey Pigvonkhak's priests.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. You must pray to Pigvonkhak three times a day.