Pasbussab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, narcissistic bird.

Pasbussab created time and space three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pasbussab, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pasbussab, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Pasbussab's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Pasbussab's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Pasbussab.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near ants while wearing violet shorts and balancing three zinc spheres on your arms.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never eat bark.