Fubvolrak is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, pitiless shark.

Fubvolrak created energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fubvolrak, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fubvolrak, she will turn you into a plant.

Fubvolrak's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Fubvolrak's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not dye your hair gray.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Never laugh near sheep.

5. Do not cook food in pots.